


la vie en rose

by barbiemalik



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:18:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4357703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbiemalik/pseuds/barbiemalik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, you do drugs a lot then?” Harry questions, already knowing the answer but being the sly little shit he is, he asks anyways.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s me. Louis the druggie Tomlinson. I’m pretty fucked up.”</p><p>“I think you’re pretty fucked up too, but, like in a good way. I’m Harry, and I know you didn’t ask me to tell you yet, but I’m Harry."</p><p>“What a compliment. Thanks, Harry."</p><p>or the one where louis takes a lot of bizarre drugs to dream of a boy he keeps seeing appear in his thoughts</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. have we met before?

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.”

It’s not the first time Louis’ been late for class. The blazing alarm rings in his tiny eardrums until Louis brings himself to pound the fucking shit out of the noise beside his head. It’s 9:15. Class started at 8:30.

“Bloody fucking hell,” Louis mumbles to himself, stretching his biceps above his head and hanging his fingertips off of the headboard behind him. He finally manages to rip the eggshell sheets off of his tan skin and wobble over to the small kitchen he’s been living off of for 3 years to grab a pack of strawberry toaster strudels. It’s his last year staying in this bloody dorm, he tells himself every single time (even though he knows he can’t afford an apartment off campus). To cope with the copious amounts of homework assignments he procrastinates to do, Louis does drugs. A lot of drugs. Like, weird drugs. 

It all started his sophomore year of university. Freshman year, Louis was a bloody genius. He never procrastinated, never turned in assignments late, never got himself into trouble with his professors. It wasn’t until he started hanging around with a group of boys who practically forced themselves into Louis’ personal bubble. They’d tell him he needed to relax more. Lay off the studying, they’d say. So Louis did.

His best mate Rocco was a pretty popular socialite in the sophomore class. Louis, on the other hand, was slowly and painfully making his way up the social latter. Rocco was known for dealing strange and unknown drugs similar to ecstacy and LSD. It made Louis jealous, in a way, because Louis knew he would never live up to Rocco’s ideal best friend. Louis was too innocent. Until junior year rolled around. 

One night, Rocco, Louis and a few of Louis’ roommates went to a sorority party near campus. Louis wasn’t much of a partier, despite the crowd he hung around, and had never really made time to go to a legit party. When the boys arrived, the house was already packed. 5 floors of up-to-no-goodness. Rocco pulled Louis aside right as they were about to join the party and slipped a small plastic bag into his right back pocket.

“What, wait what is this? What are you doing?” Louis asked frantically, palming his pocket.

“Don’t worry about it, bro. Just listen, once you get into the party, I want you to go straight to the bathroom. It’s on the second floor.”

“And do what?”

“Take the packet out of your pocket and take 3. I want you to try it since you’re a newbie and all that, plus I really don’t want to share with other people, so like, keep it on the down low. I’m only doing this because you’re my bro and you can’t be this think anymore. Got it?” Rocco gave Louis a raised eyebrow before disappearing through the front door into the crowd of unfamiliar faces. 

So, Louis being Louis, he did exactly as he was told. He went straight to the bathroom, locked the door, and stood in front of the mirror with his hands on the counter. 

“What the fuck did I just get myself into, bloody hell.”

Nervously, he took out the plastic bag. The small package was filled to the brim with green and red pills. The outside was labeled ‘For Recreational Use Only’. His peeled the baggie open, took 3 multicolored pills into his palm, took a breath, and slingshotted the pills down his throat. 

“Now fucking what?” Louis muttered to himself.

“You wait,” said a voice beside him. Louis turned to look who the voices’ owner was only to realize he was completely alone. 

***

Stepping out into the tsunami of people he’d never seen before was a lot easier than he’d thought it would be. Louis felt calm, collected, but most of all, fucked up. His brain was all over the place and really, all he wanted to do was sleep. So sleep was what he planned to do.

“‘ve you got a bedroom?” Louis hesitantly asked some random sitting on a couch, beer in her hand, who he’d never seen before in his life. He suspected she knew he was high, so he approached her timidly.

“Not my house, love. But if you’re planning to take a lover up somewhere to fuck, I suggest the fifth floor. No one has the patience to walk 5 flights of stairs,” the girl replied, smiling as she nodded her head in the direction of the stairs.

Louis nodded a thank you in reply, and dizzily attempted to walk up 5 flights of stairs. On the way up, Louis swore he was seeing things. Well, he knew he was seeing things. He was on fucking drugs for god’s sake.

After what felt like 10 bloody hours, Louis finally made it to the top floor only to be awaited with two naked figures fucking the living shit out of each other on the bed HE was supposed to sleep in. He vaguely remembers yelling something (probably vulgar) at the two before trampolining himself onto the bed. He also vaguely remembers it maybe being a water bed because it was so damn comfortable. Louis fell asleep within the first 10 seconds of covering himself in a pile of clouds.

Louis dreamt of weird images that night. He remembers a boy, and he knows it’s a specific boy because every single time he’s on drugs, he sees this same boy. Curly hair, long torso, lanky legs, tattoos on his triceps and a big butterfly on his stomach. And every god damn time he sees this boy, he swears he’s seen him. Not just passing by on the street, but like actually seen him. In his everyday life. At his god damn university.

When Louis finally woke up, he turned on his side to see a sweat drenched Rocco staring right into his eyes, his eyes trailing from the tattoo on Louis’ collarbone to his plump pink lips. And then he kissed him. And Louis kissed him back. And Louis doesn’t remember much of it but he remembers going back to uni the next day realizing what he’d done.

Louis was shy, yes, and also very conservative. His mother Jay had raised him and his sisters as pure as she possibly could. He’d had a good childhood despite the fact that he grew up without his birth dad and had to watch his mother struggle constantly with her anxiety and stress over her divorce. His step dad was okay, yeah, but he wasn’t his dad. Jay had always taught Louis to be a father to his younger sisters, and so to present this image, Louis vowed to himself that he’d stay a virgin. He made sure his sisters knew the risks of sexual relations and he himself had made sure to protect himself from boys. Louis always knew he’d liked boys from the moment he realized that society was teaching boys to like girls and girls to like boys. That’s when he knew he was different. He’d grown up with internalized homophobia and even though almost everyone knew Louis was gay, he’d always wished he wasn’t.

Rocco was the only person who made Louis feel better besides his sister, Lottie. His mother was depressed and lonely and rarely made any effort to contact Louis or his sisters. She liked being on her own, and Louis respected that as much as it hurt to separate from his mother. Lottie had also struggled with her sexuality growing up, so she knew Louis wasn’t okay when he wasn’t. She and him had always been close and Lottie made large efforts to visit him whenever she wasn’t working with her fashion interests. Rocco was a douche, yeah, and also majorly fucked up. He had fucked up friends that fucked up Louis but originally, Rocco. Rocco was straight as a straight man could be. He was tan, attractive, muscular, and a total skater boy badass. Louis adored him, but he’d never tell him that. Rocco was addressed as 'the man' and everyone knew Louis as 'the twink'. Rocco got around with his fair share of ladies. But that night, Louis was too fucked up to make logical decisions. And Rocco was drunk (and maybe not as straight as he put out to be). They fucked without a single memory left in Louis’ hazy head.

Rocco didn’t talk to Louis after that. Louis knew why.

Louis went straight to drugs after that. Drugs that caused his mind to drift off into sleep for what felt like an eternity and sometimes Louis just wished he was dead. He wished the sleep would last so long that people would mourn his death over spilled wine and sloppy kisses and the coma would never seize to release.

This boy Louis had seen in his drugged dreams was the only thing keeping Louis from falling into a deep and dark never ending hole.

So after that night, Louis began an adventure. He was going to find this boy no matter how creepy his tactics to find him may seem to the rest of the world.

 


	2. someone new

 Louis knew he’d found him when he heard a cackling from the left wing of the library as Louis was (not really) studying for his Psychology exam. He’d heard that laugh in his dream just a few nights ago.

Mission complete.

Lanky Harry Styles was actually a lanky freshman who majored in English Lit and quite often stumbled over his own two feet. He was smart, sensual, and good mannered. Just like Louis had once been. And most importantly, he was an exception to the rule; Harry Styles lived off campus.

The library was a quiet and calming place for Harry. Half the time he’d just go there to use the uni’s computers when he was too bored to stay in his dorm and use his own. He’d watch hours of funny YouTube videos just to keep himself sane while the reality of university set in. Sometimes, Harry would get kicked out of the library for laughing too loud (He’d always been self conscious of his laugh so this was just another reason to seclude himself from everyone and anything). 

It was a Tuesday, around 1:18 in the afternoon. Harry was sitting in the left wing of the library to keep from exposing himself for laughing too loud again when a figure appeared in the right hand corner of his peripheral vision.

“Okay, so this is going to sound really fucking weird, so like, I don’t blame you if you’re freaked out and kind of want to cry and punch me in the face.”

It was Louis Tomlinson. Harry had seen him before walking around the university, usually alone. Word on the street was that he was a hardcore drug dealer, addict, stealer, etc. But Harry wasn’t one to judge before he knew someone. 

“Oh, erm, okay,” Harry responded, sounding hesitant.

“Okay so before you say anything, I just want you to listen. So basically, you’ve probably heard around that I do drugs. It’s true, but that’s beside the point. Kind of. I’m rambling because I don’t exactly know how to put this, so here we go. Bloody christ,”

“It’s okay, Louis. I’m listening,” Harry said, flashing a smile from his computer screen to Louis’ eyes. God, was Louis pretty.

“Okay I’m not even going to ask how you know my name because I have to get this all out before you get really weirded out. So basically, the first time I ever did drugs, I had a dream and you were in it. And like, I didn’t know who you were, so I was just really confused because you’re really pretty and I guess it startled me because I swore I had seen you before and not like when you pass someone on the street and see them in a vision. It was like, oh yeah, I’ve seen that kid and I really want to get to know him. So basically, I dream about you whenever I’m high as a kite and it freaks me out because you’re real and yes, I’m Louis Tomlinson. And I guess I really like you when I’m high,” Louis breathed. 

Harry’s face was absolutely priceless. Louis expected a hardcore slap across the face (he’d prepared for it the moment he walked over to Harry by reciting lines he could use once the slap was over with). Instead, Louis got a smile from little Harry, who chuckled and couldn’t contain his blushed red face. Fuck.

“You think it’s funny?” Louis sighed with relief.

“It’s cute. You’re cute. I actually dream about you too, but, erm, daydreaming I guess, ha,”

“Let’s go out tonight. Dinner on me. You can tell me your name later because frankly right now you’re more of a mystery than I ever thought possible,”

Harry didn’t even need to agree. It was already a done deal the moment Louis walked over to Harry.

***

Louis and Harry exchanged numbers right after the confrontation. Louis, of course, asking for Harry’s like the gentlemen he is.

 

_ Dinner still on? ‘ll pick u up @ 8 !! Meet at benches near lawn...sure you know which one? _

 

_ Yes. Good for me. Can’t wait to see you, Louis. x.  _

 

Louis couldn’t contain the smile that rushed across his face. He’d waited so god damn long for this moment.

7:58 and Louis was pacing and heart racing by the bench. He’d done this before, as in taken guys out on dates. Kind of. It wasn’t like it was something he was foreign to.

That was, until Harry showed up. Louis definitely wasn’t prepared for this.

This boy, whom Louis did not know the name of yet, arrived at the bench wearing tight black jeans, a loose fitting white cotton tee (which was see-through and revealed that this boy indeed had more than just the butterfly tattoo on his chest, which Louis was excited about because he was sure of it; this boy was the boy he’d dreamt of), and a pair of gold booties.

“Hiya, Louis,” the boy said with a smirk.

“Let’s go, shall we?” Louis dazed in response.

“Aren’t you going to ask what my name is?”

“That’s for dinner. We’re in no rush, babe.”

Harry was nearly a foot taller than Louis, which made Louis smile. He’d never felt so small and it made him want to crawl into the boy’s butterfly and stay there, cuddled into his tummy forever. They walked side by side to a small indie café near campus.

They arrived fashionably late for their reservation (which Louis had planned accordingly) and were seated immediately at the back table in the far left corner (which Louis had also planned accordingly).

Louis watched as the boy admired the twinkling lights that hung above them in a tangled manner. Louis couldn’t help but devour the sight of this beautiful boy’s face. He couldn’t get enough of it.

“This place is really nice, Louis.”

“I try,” Louis says with a twinkle in his eye.

“So, you do drugs a lot then?” Harry questions, already knowing the answer but being the sly little shit he is, he asks anyways.

“Yeah, that’s me. Louis the druggie Tomlinson. I’m pretty fucked up,”

“I think you’re pretty fucked up too, but, like in a good way. I’m Harry, and I know you didn’t ask me to tell you yet, but I’m Harry,"

“What a compliment. Thanks, Harry.”

Silence wasn’t an issue. The two talked for what seemed like hours before their food even arrived. 

“Harry is a cute name,” Louis says, breaking bread apart and dipping it into his pasta sauce. Harry thought that was pretty cute.

“So is Louis," Harry replies with a gentle smile. "This is all kind of, you know, coincidental don’t you think?”

Louis, startled, halfway through eating his sauce covered Italian bread, responds with, “I think so, yeah. I mean, drugs do stuff for a reason, I guess. Now I’m pretty thankful for drugs, ha,”

“Louis,”

“Harry.”

“I think you should stop doing drugs. Like, it’s unhealthy. I don’t even know you that well but I know you don’t seem happy. I also know you study psychology, so you should know that drugs certainly don’t make you feel any better.”

Silence suddenly became an issue. Louis was dumbfounded. No one had told him to stop doing drugs because he only associated himself with people who specifically did drugs.

“Thanks, Harry,” Louis says, shaking beneath the table. His tone set Harry into a frenzy.

“I’m sorry. I- fuck. I, shit, Louis I don’t even know you that well and I’m sorry. It just felt like something I needed to say. I know there’s nothing between us right now, but I want you to be happy. That might seem weird but I guess I’m just like that.”

“Okay,” Louis musters.

“Okay,” Harry responds, looking up from his almost empty bowl of salad and glancing over at Louis, who is picking at his food. His plate isn’t nearly as empty as Harry’s.

They sit in silence until the bill comes. Harry offers to pay, Louis declines, Harry tries again, Louis declines. The waitress is uncomfortable and Louis is upset.

They’re walking out when Louis decides to speak.

“I want to go home.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

“No,” Louis spits, “I want to go home. By myself.”

“Louis, listen,” Harry stops, turning himself around on the sidewalk to face Louis. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I have to say it.”

“You don’t have to say it anymore. I’m going home. Goodnight, Harry.”

Louis didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to leave the possible love of his life (a little exaggeration on his part). He just wanted things to be okay. He seemed so okay. He didn’t think people like Harry would notice, or let alone give a shit.

He left Harry stranded on the sidewalk without another word, barreling past him with a shove to his (beautifully) tattooed shoulder and onward towards his dorm room. He just wanted to go home so he could cry.


End file.
